If you are like me, then you try your best to ignore the grim studies paraded in the media recently that say kids suck the very life out of marriages. On occasion after a really really bad day with teenage hormones raging in the house I almost believe these researchers, but more often I really doubt their findings.
I would love to set up my own research study to prove them wrong, except I don't have the credentials to attempt it. So, I did my own "informal study" to disprove the findings that kids make us unhappy. And, yes, I was a biased researcher. And, yes, I probably skewed the findings just a smidgen. Kids in my research make us laugh more, cry just a little, but smile much more often.
My research proving kids REALLY do make us happy is not verifiable, but I had fun doing it. And then I read a scientific study with all the appropriate measures in place that actually supports my study. Eureeka! Thank you, University of Glasgow. And thank you Babble.com writer and psychotherapist Heather Turgeon for writing about this study. The University of Glasgow study tracked 10,000 U.K. households and not only did they find kids make us happier, according to Turgeon they found the "biggest boost to life enjoyment came with two or three kids."
Two or three kids makes you even happier? Okay, this study is really bucking the trends. According to Turgeon:
"Knowing that their findings buck the prevailing wisdom (and most other recent studies), the Glasgow team explains that their data paints a rosier picture of parenthood because they isolated certain variables, like age, sex, and marital status. Married people with middle-class incomes were the ones who reaped the most kid benefits, while unmarried couples or those under extreme financial hardship fared less well. The authors of the study say they think kids improve quality of life when it’s the “right time” for the couple."
Sure, we don't always feel joyful while we change a diaper or meet with a school counselor about tardiness. But to survive this parenthood gig we learn when life gets tough we have to also look at the big picture. And my kids have picked up on this too when they say, "Hey, at least I didn't dump a can of Pepsi on the laptop like so-and-so." And they do have a point. I might not realize it when I am scraping molten chocolate bar out of the dryer, but tomorrow is bound to be better.
(Photo by ^riza^)