Momathon Blog

7 ways to share books with troops overseas

The Jason Boog and the clever editors at GalleyCat put together a great list of programs that allow you to share books with the troop overseas. Here it is: 

1. E-Books for Troops will help you share your used Kindle with our troops overseas.
2. Operation Warrior Library connects writers with military personnel.
3. Books for Soldiers mails books to troops.
4. Operation Paperback sends paperbacks overseas.
5. Books-a-Million will let you select and purchase Books for Troops in a special program.
6. Operation eBook Drop focuses on eBooks.
7. Follow this Google search to find many more options for sharing books with soldiers.

(Thanks, GalleyCat!)

Daily Doodle: Wicked people never have time for reading...

"Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them." 

~ Lemony Snicket (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)

 

 

Doodle by me, Chris Olson. You can see more of my doodles at Momathon doodles.

Daily Doodle: Don't forget to be awesome

 

 

Happiness is a direction, not a place.

~Syndey J. Harris 

 

 

Doodle by me, Chris Olson. You can see more of my doodles at Momathon doodles.

Photo essay: Have a delicious weekend!

 

 

"If you're afraid of butter, use cream." 

~ Julia Child

 

 

"I think every woman should have a blowtorch."

~ Julia Child

 

"I was 32 when I started cooking;
up until then, I just ate"

~ Julia Child

 

 

"Everything in moderation... including moderation."

~ Julia Child

 

 

 

Instagram photos by me, Chris Olson, writer and illustrator

 

Schwarzenegger and the high cost of secrets in his betrayal

Patrick Schwarzenegger, now using the last name of Shriver, may have summed up the shocking collapse of his parent's marriage best in his post on Twitter yesterday:

“Some days you feel like s---. Some days you want to quit and just be normal for a bit, yet I love my family till death do us apart.”

The news that Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child out of wedlock that is approximately the same age as Schwarzenegger and Shriver's son Christopher makes you wonder how this ultimate betrayal could happen. Do the math and you might have already guessed it: While working in the couple's mansion their housekeeper was pregnant at the same time as Maria. According to ABC News:

Mildred Patricia Baena is the woman with whom former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a son about 14 years ago ... Known as Patty, she reportedly worked in the famliy home as a housekeeper and assistant for more than 20 years, until January.

Betrayal in a marriage has two parts–the act of the infidelity and the deception that follows. Arnold Schwarzenegger kept his extra-marital affair quiet for over a decade, even with Baena working in his house and interacting with Maria and her children.  Since Arnold publicly admitted the scandal yesterday, he has not said anything more. 

Back in 2003 after allegations that Arnold made unwanted sexual advances on women, Maria Shriver defended her husband and many credit her support for saving his gubernatorial campaign. No one except Schwarzenegger and Baena knew the real bombshell--the fact that he had fathered a son with Baena a few years before he ran for governor.

Now women (and men) are asking themselves about the cost of Maria's support. By standing by her man and helping him politically did Maria overlook the higher cost to her marriage?

The Terminator has been dubbed "Sperminator" by Bonnie Bonnie Fuller, editor in chief of celebrity website Hollywood Life. Men behaving badly in a marriage is old news but also a hot topic--consider the high-profile affairs of Tiger Woods, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, and former senator and presidential candidate John Edwards.

The drive for power makes politicians at even greater risk for having an affair. Alan Greenblat explains on NPR:

"There's good evidence that men with great power and status are, in fact, more prone to affairs," says Todd Shackelford, who directs the evolutionary psychology lab at Oakland University in Michigan.

Are some individuals missing the shame gene? Leslie Marshall writes in USNews.com:

But as a woman I was quite concerned about something no one seems to be speaking about.  Why will women easily slip into bed with another's husband?!  And on top of that, she worked in the home seeing this man’s wife and children day in and day out. Has she no shame?

Maria is incredibly resilient. Asking for privacy for the sake of her children, Maria is taking the high road. According to NYTimes.com in her own statement Tuesday, she made it clear she is putting her children first:

“As a mother, my concern is for the children,” she said. “I ask for compassion, respect and privacy as my children and I try to rebuild our lives and heal. I will have no further comment.”

Hard to imagine Maria would have the energy to keep up public appearances, but yesterday Maria Shriver was one of the celebrities at Oprah's final show taping. Richard Lawson on Gawker reports:

As the gossip hurricane rages on, Maria Shriver stands brave and resolute with her friend Oprah. Meanwhile, the Grammers are having a custody dispute, a Tiger Woods mistress is telling stories, and Kirk Cameron is not Stephen Hawking.

Having the last word in an argument doesn't mean you win. However, an exception might be those times you can offer a word of insight. According to Gawker Maria did make insightful dig at her cheating husband and told Oprah

"You have shown love, support, wisdom, and most of all," she said, with a big, meaningful pause, "the truth."

More facts and more truths will be revealed in this saga I'm sure. But most of all, I'm hoping more women can make their mission to stop living in that gray area of betrayal and seeking the light of truth.

Schwarzenegger, The Good Wife, and other stories of betrayal

 
News of former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's split with Maria Shriver after 25 years of marriage shocked us last week. 

Now the other shoe drops, Schwarzenegger admits he fathered a child with a longtime member of household staff over ten years ago.

Schwarzenegger's public admission of betrayal only came yesterday, but he revealed the infidelity to Maria after he left office in January. The news of his admission first appeared in LAtimes.com which included this excerpt of his apology: 

"After leaving the governor's office I told my wife about this event, which occurred over a decade ago," Schwarzenegger said Monday night in a statement issued to The Times in response to questions. "I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family. There are no excuses and I take full responsibility for the hurt I have caused. I have apologized to Maria, my children and my family. I am truly sorry."

Sadly public apologies about infidelity from other celebrities begin to all sound the same because they are so familiar in the news. In the Speakeasy blog on WSJ, Susan Toepfer writes:

In Schwarzenegger’s public admission of sexual misconduct, one sentence stands out: “While I deserve your attention and criticism, my family does not.”

While many of us had speculated why the famous couple suddenly split last week after all those years, the real story behind the break-up is beginning to sound like a television drama script as reported by Toepfer:

The repercussions of that harrowing spotlight are at the core of the CBS drama, “The Good Wife,” which for two years has focused on a fictional family still reeling from the exposure of a pol’s tawdry affair.  Inspired by Silda Spitzer, Hillary Clinton, Elizabeth Edwards, Jenny Sanford and countless other blindsided spouses, the series begins where the news conference stops.

The housekeeper kept it a secret that she had a ten-year-old child with Schwarzenegger and recently she voluntarily left her position after two decades. According to the article in the LAtimes.com, the staffer left on good terms:

"I wanted to achieve my 20 years, then I asked to retire," she [the staffer] said, adding she received a severance payment and "left on good terms with them."

Maria Shriver has had a tough year even without the news of her husband's infidelity. Her mother, Eunice Kennedy Shriver, died last year and her father, Sargent Shriver, died this past January.

Shriver appears to be the stronger partner in this very public relationship. Their marriage was rocked by scandal back in 2003 when her husband was running for governor and allegations were made that he had groped women on his movie sets. Shriver stood by her man and publicly defended him during the campaign even though many of us had the feeling there probably was more to the story. According to NPR: 

Back then Schwarzenegger, while saying that not all the allegations were true, apologized to anyone he offended and admitted that he had sometimes "behaved badly." Shriver stood by her husband. He was elected governor.

Celebrity break ups are both heart-wrenching stories and popular stories in the news. So it didn't surprise me when the announcement was made yesterday of a new television series all about betrayal. The series Unfaithful: Stories of Betrayal debuts in June on the Oprah Winfrey Network and features Dr. Laura Berman, Carson Kressley, unfaithful partners and visionaries. According to OWN TV:

Unfaithful: Stories of Betrayal features couples who have been forced to face the harsh deception of infidelity in their marriage. Through hard work and determination, they have reconciled. Each couple shares with us how infidelity impacts relationships with spouses, lovers, friends, and family. These are their stories of betrayal.

If your opinion about the state of marriage and relationships today is only determined by what you see in the media, movies, and television shows, then the news is very bad. However, if the scandals in the news cause you to step back and reflect on the good things in your own life and in the lives of those you care about, then perhaps you can share with your kids the stories about what actually makes a marriage survive and thrive. If this happens, then the good news about love just might triumph in the end.

Illustration above is by me, Chris Olson. You can see more of my doodles at Momathon doodles.  

Daily Doodle: Pug and spider

The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout.

Down came the rain, and washed the spider out.

Up came the sun, and dried up all the rain,

and the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again.

 

Illustration of the pug and spider by me, Chris Olson. You can see more of my doodles at Momathon doodles. 

 

 

 

 

 

Update: Judge rules a divorced mom's an unfit parent because of cancer

Comparing one family court judge's custody ruling to King Solomon's choice, New York Times columnist Lisa Belkin delves into the complex issues of the recent custody battle involving a divorced mom with stage four breast cancer in the post Losing Custody Because She Has Cancer in the NYTimes blog Motherlode:

"Mr. Snyder, who was divorced from Ms. Giordano after her diagnosis, recently moved away from his family to take a job as an executive at Sears Holding, Inc. He asked the court to grant him sole custody, arguing that he was the parent with a paycheck, and that his ex was too sick — and her future too uncertain — for the children to stay with her. She accused him of being abusive and unfaithful during their marriage, and says that sending the children to Chicago would deprive her of her kids when she most needs them, would separate her children from her at a time when they most need her, and would discriminate against her because she has cancer." 

 

I am one of the dozens and dozens of women bloggers who have rallied behind Ms. Alaina Giordano because this case sets a precedent that seems to say breast cancer or diabetes or any other serious illness should be grounds for losing custody.

Those supporting Alaina recognize that asking her to move to Chicago where her ex husband lives is unreasonable. She has found a great medical team at Duke University and Durham is the town her kids call HOME.

The reason for moving the kids to Chicago--600 miles away--is because the judge found this recommendation from forensic psychologist Dr. Helen Brantley most important: 

"The more contact [the children] have with the non-ill parent, the better they do. They divide their world into the cancer world and a free of cancer world. Children want a normal childhood, and it is not normal with an ill parent."

Whenever I read the quote above from the ruling I feel physically SICK! 

The judge's controversial custody ruling that says Alaina's breast cancer is grounds for being an unfit parent solves the problem FOR THE DAD. However, the ruling seems to greatly increase the likelihood that Alaina's cancer battle will end even sooner.

How will the dad ever explain that to his kids?

Living with cancer isn't pretty. I have been lucky in my own health, but many lives around me have faced this unforgiving disease. I applaud Alaina for being so brave and somehow managing to make her family life so normal in spite of the cancer. Moving Alaina's kids 600 miles away and putting the burden on her to somehow financially and medically make the move seems unfair and even cruel. I agree with Emily Cousins in her post on Huffington Post:

"Think of the inconvenience you might have felt when your insurance company made you switch dentists or therapists. Now imagine you had to leave the group of doctors who are literally keeping you alive. Cancer patients develop deep bounds with the people who guide us through the minefield of treatment options, side effects, and recurrences. I referred to my team of oncologists and surgeons "the mothership," and I refused to move away from them for five years after my diagnosis. I only felt safe leaving them then because my disease had not spread like Giordano's has."

Expecting the dad, Kane Snyder, to leave his job at Sears in Chicago and move back to Durham has some challenges. Yes, the economy is tough in Durham. However, it's tough everywhere. I don't think there is a single person–rich or poor–who doesn't know it costs more to buy gas and groceries and clothes and houses then it did a year ago.

But–and this is a very, very BIG BUT–asking Alaina's husband to move back to Durham and find a job does not seem like a impossible request. And perhaps most important of all, it seems like the humane choice.

Someone out there in social media land must be reading about this custody case and must know of a good job for Kane Snyder in Durham–the town his kids call "home" and where his ex wife continues being a heroic mom and also gets top-notch cancer treatment at Duke University.

Please speak up if you know about a job for Mr. Snyder.

 

For more information:

• Read Alaina's petition to overturn the custody ruling here.
• Support her on Facebook: Alaina Giordano Should Not Lose Her Kids Because She Has Breast Cancer
• Sign the Change.org petition: Human Rights Petition: Do not allow NC Judge to take Alaina Giordano's children, just because she has cancer!
• Aliana's blog: Beauty in Truth 

 

 

Nine Qualities of a Successful Freelancer

Watch the clever stop-motion video by Creative, Inc. co-authors Joy Deangdeelert Cho and Meg Mateo Ilas here. You can read more about the movie in Joy's blog Oh Joy!

According to Joy and Meg, the 9 qualities of a successful freelancer are: 

1. Strong business sense
2. A love of your art
3. Curiosity
4. Confidence and a strong vision
5. Good listening and observation skills
6. Good communication skills
7. Ability to handle criticism and rejection
8. A positive attitude and professional demeanor
9. Good work habits

According to their website at Chronicle Books:

"Freelancing pros Meg Mateo Ilasco and Joy Deangdeelert Cho explain everything from creating a standout portfolio to navigating the legal issues of starting a business. Accessible, spunky, and packed with practical advice, Creative, Inc. is an essential for anyone ready to strike out on their own."

Their book, Creative, Inc.: The Ultimate Guide to Running a Successful Freelance Business is available at Chronicle Books.

Divorced mom loses custody of kids due to cancer diagnosis

Should not knowing how long a divorced mom with cancer live be grounds for losing custody of her kids? 

The truth is NO ONE ever knows how long they will live, but evidently North Carolina family court judge Nancy Gordon believes that stage four breast cancer makes Alaina Giordano's health status so unpredictable that her cancer diagnosis is grounds for removing kids from her home.

In a bitter custody battle, the judge recently denied Alaina primary custody of her children. The custody ruling says the deteriorating condition of Alaina's health and the fact this stay-at-home mom is unemployed is grounds for removing the kids from their home in Durham, North Carolina, and placing them in the custody of their dad Kane Snyder in Chicago as of June 17th.

Alaina, a 37-year-old mom of two kids ages 11 and 5, appears to live a fairly normal life even with her cancer. She has a team of doctors she trusts at the prestigious Duke Cancer Institute near her home in Durham, N.C. She only goes for cancer treatment only once a month. She does not want to relocate and be forced to uproot her children from their home and school and also be forced to leave the doctors she trusts. Her estranged husband moved after the divorce and now lives in Chicago where he works as a leadership associate at Sears.

The judge apparently expanded the definition of what an unfit parent means and decided Alaina's poor health was grounds for losing custody of her kids. 

Why would a judge make this ruling?  According to ABC News, in Judge Gordon's ruling she cited forensic psychologist Dr. Helen Brantley:

"The more contact [the children] have with the non-ill parent, the better they do. They divide their world into the cancer world and a free of cancer world. Children want a normal childhood, and it is not normal with an ill parent."

Chicago and Durham are about 600 miles apart. If Alaina wants to regularly see her kids, then she must move. Since Alaina is the unemployed parent, it appears the custody ruling puts the burden on her to move to be in the city where her employed husband lives.

In effect, this opinion seems to say that the judge believes Alaina's husband's job at Sears is more important than Alaina's health.

Divorce is tough on families. Add the health concerns of a parent and divorce is even more devastating. Alaina was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer three and half years ago at age 33. A little over a year ago, in January 2010, the couple filed for divorce. When her ex could not find work in Durham, he moved to Chicago. The bitter legal battle for custody of the kids that ensued after the divorce includes allegations of domestic problems according to The Daily Mail Online.

In a perfect world, the custody rights will be determined so the decision will benefit the kids involved. Should a cancer diagnosis make someone an unfit parent? 

Sadly, any of us could die at any moment–cancer diagnosis or no cancer diagnosis. Cancer is not contagious. Yes, living with cancer is a tough battle. And yet many health experts agree that families help cancer patients live and thrive because of a family's love and support.

Moving the kids 600 miles away from their mom, does not appear to help their mom battle her cancer. And because this is a blog and not a news article, I can offer my opinion here:

This unusual custody ruling that makes Alaina's cancer grounds for being an unfit parent will greatly increase the likelihood that her cancer battle will end even sooner. How will the dad ever explain that to his kids? 

Not knowing how long Alaina will live as the reason for losing custody of her kids is a sickening precedent to set.

 

For more information:

• Watch a video about this custody battle here: Cancer-stricken mom fights to keep custody of kids, TODAY.com
• Read Alaina's petition to overturn the custody ruling here.
• Support her on Facebook: Alaina Giordano Should Not Lose Her Kids Because She Has Breast Cancer
• Sign the Change.org petition: Human Rights Petition: Do not allow NC Judge to take Alaina Giordano's children, just because she has cancer!
• Aliana's blog: Beauty in Truth
• Alaina Giordano loses custody of children because she has breast cancer | Mail Online
• North Carolina Mom With Breast Cancer Loses Custody - ABC News

 Photo above: Alaina Giordano on Facebook

More best advice from mom: Take turns

I grew up with two older brothers and as kids we were constantly arguing about who got to sit in the front seat of the car, or who got to take the newest (and coolest) sled down the hill first, or who got to pick the TV show next. In my countdown to Mother's Day, today I'm remembering the best advice from my mom whenever I needed to take a step back and think about what my siblings or my friends would want: "Take turns." This advice never grows old–even at work or with my grown-up friends and family–life is sweeter when we take turns.

Thanks Mom!

In honor of Mother's Day, this week my "Mom Says" doodle art features my favorite sayings from my mom. You can find all of my "mom says" art here. You can see even more of my doodles at Momathon doodles. 

Illustration above by me, Chris Olson.

 

More best advice from mom: Go outside and play

In my countdown to Mother's Day, today I'm remembering the best advice from my mom whenever I was getting cranky: "Go outside and play." I don't think we ever outgrow the need to soak up some sunshine and enjoy nature. Simple advice from my mom that continues to make all the difference in improving my outlook.

In honor of Mother's Day, this week my "Mom Says" doodle art features my favorite sayings from my mom. You can find all of my "mom says" art here. You can see even more of my doodles at Momathon doodles. 

Illustration above by me, Chris Olson.

 

Best Advice from Mom: Listen Carefully

In my countdown to Mother's Day, today I'm remembering the best advice from my mom whenever I was in too big of a rush: "Listen carefully."

In honor of Mother's Day, this week my "Mom Says" doodle art features my favorite sayings from my mom. You can find all of my "mom says" art here. You can see even more of my doodles at Momathon doodles. 

Illustration above by me, Chris Olson.

Best Advice from Mom: Stand Up Tall

In my countdown to Mother's Day, today I'm remembering the best advice from my mom whenever I was feeling down: "Stand up tall."

In honor of Mother's Day, this week my "Mom Says" doodle art features my favorite sayings from my mom. You can find all of my "mom says" art here. You can see even more of my doodles at Momathon doodles. 

Illustration above by me, Chris Olson.

 

Best Advice from Mom: Believe in Yourself

In my countdown to Mother's Day, today I'm remembering the best advice from my mom whenever I felt like I would fail: "Believe in yourself."

In honor of Mother's Day, this week my "Mom Says" doodle art features my favorite sayings from my mom. You can find all of my "mom says" art here. You can see even more of my doodles at Momathon doodles. 

Illustration above by me, Chris Olson.